It turns out that the fancy booze you like is actually not so fancy after all. Most of the “craft,” “handmade,” “artisan” whisky that people have been hyping all comes from the same gigantic distillery in Indiana.
A lot of my friends here in Nebraska will be particularly saddened to learn the following about their beloved, local-ish brand:
Templeton Rye … has built its successful brand on being a product of Templeton, Iowa. They tell an elaborate story about how their recipe was used by the owner’s family to make illicit whiskey in Iowa during Prohibition, and how that rye had become Al Capone’s favorite hooch. They publish a description of their “Production Process” so detailed it lists the temperature (124 degrees) at which the “rye grain is added to the mash tank.” They brag that they focus their “complete attention on executing each step of the distillation process.” And yet, for all this detail, the official “Production Process” somehow fails to mention that Templeton doesn’t actually do the distilling.
Dig around enough on the Templeton Rye website, and you’ll find acknowledgment that their whiskey is factory-made in Indiana. But clinging to the craft distiller fiction, Templeton does its best to maintain that, rather than taking MGP whiskey off the shelf, they are somehow instructing the manufacturer how to make the juice.
I don’t much care for rye. I’m a wheated bourbon guy through-and-through. But apparently I really don’t like mass-produced rye. It’s interesting to now learn that my lack of interest in Dickel, Bulleit, and even the much ballyhooed Templeton stems from the fact that they’re all basically the same product in different bottles. If I don’t like mass-produced rye, I’m not going to like it no matter how it’s packaged.
That said, the amount of nonsense that Templeton is tossing out there to convince people that they’re making their own hooch really leaves a bad taste in my mouth far beyond the ordinary bad taste of the rye.
HT: Kris Kanthak.
hes reading the biology book upside down
or your funeral.
every achievement in cinema history has led up to this moment
#that time that michael jordan retired from basketball to play baseball #and then was bad at baseball so went back to basketball #and in order to celebrate his return to basketball #we made a movie in which he teams up with 50 year old cartoon characters #to defeat the space aliens who magically stole the mojo of other famous basketball players #and planned to kidnap these 50 year old cartoon characters #so the cartoon characters who literally never played basketball in any of their cartoons #were like clearly the only way to settle this is with a game of basketball #and just when all hope seems lost #bill murray who has literally only been in one other scene in the movie #shows up completely without explanation #and no one questions it #and doesn’t even do anything to help the team like he literally just shows up to pass the ball to michael #and then michael jordan slam dunks the ball from half court to win the game #and someone in hollywood read that script #and was like yes perfect no changes need to be made let’s get this project going #i don’t believe in god #but i do believe in space jam
I too believe in Space Jam
The fact that the ALA shared this link is so gloriously bitter and angry and I love it.
Is there a portmanteau for that? Angritter? Bangry?
My library card already gets me multiple “real” books, e-books, audiobooks, magazines and movies per month. For free.
Kindle Unlimited offers nothing from big presses, and no guarantee the authors will get paid fairly for their work. Libraries buy the book up front for a higher price (and a better binding). Kindle Unlimited offers the authors a variable percentage of a as-yet-undetermined-and-unannounced amount of money.
While Amazon touts Kindle Unlimited at “Netflix For Books!” the reality is Netflix signed contracts with everyone whose work they offer so that actors, screen writers, best boys, and the rest of those people get paid for the shows and movies you watch. Amazon does not.
That means your favorite author isn’t being compensated for their time or work. If you love a book series and want to see the next one get published: buy the book or hit the library. Starving authors quit writing because they like eating.
Last Words to Walter White
the thrilling saga in which Panic! owns the fuck out of WBC
A+ handling of the situation